/that stupid Wayne Newton Vegas House music comes on
/Out steps Mike Slive’s twin brother, Wayne Newton SliVegas
/SliVegas begins his show
Hello frands this is my show here in Vegas, no Wayne Newton won’t be here tonight he had something important to do, like not be here with you
/Half the crowd exits immediately.
anyways, we’re gonna have some fun tonight. now first here I’m gonna walk around and talk to the audience like this, see?
why hello Clark Chevy Chase Griswald.
hello woman I always think is Susan Summers but not as hot but her real name is Beverly D’Angelo.
Clark I’m gonna take your woman from you here, see how this works?
why do i get to do that? Well Clark, because your two incoming freshmen Offensive Linemen made 2.32 GPA’s instead of the required minimum of 2.5.
(slivegas nervously laughs)…wait, What?
I mean, I stole her Clark because I wanted to, i dunno what that first blurb was about
anyways, I’m going to start this show here shortly, right after I talk to you about getting serious when conducting an NCAA investigation on a team not up for a National Championship in the season in which they’re being investigated for allegedly paying….
/half the crowd boos
/half the crowd leaves
/the other half is sleeping
Like I was saying, we’re gonna have an absolute blast here tonight on my show, right after we talk about my friend Houston. For stories’ sake, let’s just call him Nouston Hutt. Now Nouston Hutt liked the recrui… I mean ladies. And ole Nouston, he liked to try to take all 10 ladies home each night from the signing perio… i mean bar. And you see, that wasn’t really fair to those recrui….ladies, because maybe their daddy’s were hoping to see them play college football, I mean get married, to only one man…..
/lecture goes on
/Producers drag SliVegas off the stage
/the SliVegas show is immediately cancelled
/the next day, Mike Slive shows up to his office with traces of glitter on his face.