/speaking but in that like 3 second delay type speak like on Japanese Movies where they’re translated to english
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO WELCOME BACK TO THE DOME FOR OUR SECOND MATCHUP:
TIME TO SEE WHO’S TOUGHER: A COMMODORE WHO IS AS TOUGH AS GETTING WITH KIM KARDASHIAN, OR A DERRANGED DRUNKEN CORNDOG GRASS EATING HAT WHICH SOME TIMES TAKES THE FORM OF A TIGGGGGEEERRRRR.
ENTER THE MASCOT DOME OF DOOM GENTLEMEN, AND PREPARE YOURSELVES FOR:
BATTLE TO THE DEATH!!!!
Category 1- Mascot most likely to out drink the other
- I know what you’re thinking: there’s absolutely no way anyone could out-drink an LSU fan/coach/player/sister/baby. But we are talking about mascot drinking ability, and although we cannot fully ignore the alcohaulin talents of those that live in the boot shaped state, we would be in err if we did not take into account that Vandy’s mascot is, in fact, a Seamen (A Navy person, you perv). And we know that Seamen are known for their drinking as much as they are known for sailing the high seas and wearing slightly homo outfits. And with Commodore being a high ranking position IN the Navy, we must aware this category to Vander… wait, what’s that??? We have an awesomeness pic of LSU fan’s drinking?
Okay, this category is a:
Category 2- Mascot with the Most Fighting Experience
- Tough, tough, tough one here. One is a high ranking official in the Navy, the other fights, hunts and KILLS for survival. Both are qualified candidates for this category, but only one can prevail. I’ll go with the one who has the x-factor: Animal Instinct. Winner is:
Category 3- In a battle dome where no one can leave until the other is dead, who walks out alive?
- Another tough one, but it really depends on whether or not the Commodore has his sword or not. I’ll allow the sword, and I’m going to go with a wild card here, I’ll say that Mr. Commodore will be smart and allow the Tiger to lunge for him, stabbing the Tiger. Winner of this category:
Category 4- Best Pure Hunter
- Really any question here?
Category 5- Who would make for a better sports blogger than SportsByBrooks
- Trick question because anything with a pulse makes for a better sports blogger/reporter/whatever than sportsbybrooks, he blows. We just thought we’d plug our thoughts on him here. That being said, Commodore man does have the whole “posable thumbs” thing going for him. Winner:
After 5 rounds folks, we have a tie. As this is a battle to the death contest, only one can leave. We will now go to the wild card category round to determine our winner
WILD CARD CATEGORY:
Category 6- Most likely to be able to survive merely on alcohol and Hillary Duff movies if trapped on an island not really like the one from Lost but more like the one from Gilligan’s Island
- Although A sailor can drink it up, the prospect of having to watch all-those-Hillary-Duff movies back to back can drive any man insane. That means our winner of this category AND the winner of this match-up is:
THE LSU TIGERS
Cheer up Vandy, they’re still stuck with this guy as a coach
-Whiskey Indian November