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Florida, Haters Vs. Haters, LSU

Haters vs. Haters Previews the LSU – Florida Game

Welcome to Haters vs. Haters, where your friends at ShirtsOrSkins, Fluffy and Whiskey Indian November, preview a key SEC matchup… by hating on each team.  Hey you’ve already read a THOUSAND MILLION previews of this game, so why wouldn’t you want to read something different, like some high quality hater-age.  Here we go, yo, with ya weak ass.

LSU vs. Florida, 2:30 P.M., CBS

LSU (Whiskey Indian November)

First of all, the hell kinda nickname is “the hat”?  Hey he wears a hat, he’s got a large head, let’s call Coach Miles “The Hat”! I have big feet, should my friends call me “The Shoe”? Son, please.  And what’s up with this Jordan Jefferson guy?  Kicking a man in the head while he’s on the ground?  That’s a headline I expect to read from Sebastian Janikowski, not an SEC QB.  And yeah I think it’s great and all that LSU is playing well with Jarrett Lee at the helm, but does he still have those long @$$ sleeves on his jersey? For realz son?

Let’s talk about that corndog smell too.  I dunno where it started, I dunno why you smell like a state fair delicacy, but dang sonz, take a bath, before I dip you in mustard.  Now, go get that win you swamp people watching s.o.b.’s.  I’m out -W.I.N.

Florida (Fluffy)

If I see one more jean short wearing fother mucker doing the chomp on TV I might decide to ship a box of dead kittens to PETA punch a preschool teacher.  The way they got pounded at home by Bama last week they should not call it the chomp, it is now renamed the chump.  I just enjoy how this group of fans still assumes they are a national power.  Pfff.  That all left with Urban’s love child Tebow.  Just give the NCAA time.  Florida will get on probation because once you start not making the NCAA as much money as you used to they pounce and give some kind of bullships sanction.

I’m watching Oregon play Cal right now and am getting angry Craig James still is not in jail for killing those 5 hookers.

Back to Florida.  How have they not been in trouble by the NCAA yet anyways.  It seems every week during the Urban years some starter was out for Legal issues.  Hell, defensive lineman Dominique Easly, the one who carries the Chucky doll around, got arrested for tackling a former Alabama player after last weeks game.  I assume he was highly provoked.  Either way we will get to see how big that freshman’s eyes get this Saturday in Tiger Stadium.

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